Someone telling you not to feel guilty rarely cures guilt. Teasing out the difference between guilt and regret can be tough. When you make amends, you acknowledge and take responsibility for your actions that have hurt others. They take different forms, including direct amends, indirect amends, and living amends. Secondly, sobriety helps minimize the risk of reverting to old behaviors.
- Making amends helps repair relationship problems caused by addiction.
- However, there are situations where it might not be appropriate.
- However, making an effort to repair relationships will benefit you and your loved ones in the long run.
- They take different forms, including direct amends, indirect amends, and living amends.
Don’t settle for an apology.
While someone may feel ready to apologize and make things right, the other party may need time to process their feelings and decide how they wish to respond. This dynamic can lead to deeper conversations and a more profound understanding of each other’s experiences, ultimately enriching the recovery process. Recovery from addiction is a deeply personal journey that involves not only personal growth but also the mending of relationships affected by one’s actions during active addiction. Apologizing to loved ones can be a challenging and emotional process. At Harmony Haus, we offer the guidance and support members need to navigate this stage in their recovery. Through our various sober living programs and services, our members gain the tools to reflect on their past and communicate more effectively.
How Making Amends Helps You
When you struggle with substance use addiction, taking the first steps to learn how to begin the amends process is admitting you need help and starting your recovery journey. You will most likely hear the term “living amends” from your sponsor or peers during your recovery. This term refers to your desire to change how you live and your behaviors to remain committed to living a sober lifestyle. In addiction recovery, this process is not just about saying “I’m sorry.” It is a commitment to making things right and fostering healing for the individual and others. The essence of making amends is about taking responsibility for one’s actions and showing a genuine desire to change.
What If My Attempt to Make Things Right Goes Wrong and Things Get Worse?
In his book he shares the situation of a woman who has a fight with her brother. Though he calls her following the argument, she doesn’t answer. Though we would certainly suggest she read some of our other posts on seems like regret and self-forgiveness, we also deeply appreciate the option of a ‘living amends’. Suddenly your spinning around things you feel guilty for.
Similarly, making living amends means you completely change the way you live and remain committed to that lifestyle. Whenever possible, a direct amend living amends is made face-to-face rather than over the phone or by asking someone else to apologize on your behalf. Making living amends primarily benefits you and not the people you’ve wronged in the past.
- Over the years, in small bits and pieces, I have been able to share small pearls of my Al-anon wisdom.
- It makes it hard to remember things that happened before or after.
- When you make amends, you acknowledge and align your values to your actions by admitting wrongdoing and then living by your principles.
- Deathbed promises are a common way people make living amends.
- The process of making amends often requires patience and understanding, both from the person making amends and those receiving them.
Individuals living with addiction often push their loved ones away, which can cause significant harm to their relationships. Healing and building a healthy support system is a critical part of the recovery process. To repair relationships, people often need to make a living amends. Understanding the harm you caused the people in your life is critical for reflecting on your addiction. Making a living amends involves apologizing to your loved ones that you hurt and using your actions to prove you have changed and are committed to living a healthier and sober lifestyle. This process is described in steps 8 and 9 of the 12-Step Program.
Be generous with your time.
Once the harm has been recognized, the next step is to formulate a plan to repair the damage. The ultimate goal of making amends is to Sober living house repair relationships, rebuild trust, and demonstrate a genuine commitment to personal growth and recovery. Making amends is a crucial yet often challenging step in the recovery process. It involves not only acknowledging the harm caused by past actions but also taking concrete steps to repair relationships and rebuild trust.
